


Angels

by Shamelessly_Radiant



Category: Still Alice
Genre: F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 04:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16905996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shamelessly_Radiant/pseuds/Shamelessly_Radiant
Summary: What if Alice had succeeded? A stream of thought ramble. TW for suicide.





	Angels

What if Helena hadn’t walked in, and Alice had succeeded? What then? If Alice had just _went to sleep_ , like past Alice told her, neglected to mention she’d never wake up?

What if Helena, distraught, had called Josh to tell him, and Josh would have found the video of Alice, still _his Ali_ and he would’ve been furious and sad and proud because that’d be just like his wife, too stubborn to let herself just slip away and be a burden to them, and he would feel the tiniest spark of relief and would feel guilty about it, because human emotions are _messy_ , and he wouldn’t know if he was grateful to not have to see his wife suffer anymore and to not have to take care of her, and it would be possibly a bit of both.

The children, all of them, would come together, and toast to their mother’s memory, and be angry and amused too, this strange mix, because indeed, this is so like their mother.

(Charlie watches Anna, dread pooling in his stomach, and thinks about life and how it repeats itself.)

Alice lies dead in her bed, and looks peaceful, as if she will wake up any moment. Soon, oh so soon, they will have to organise a funeral. Take care of inheritance and invitations and everything that accompanies the end of a life.

Josh will accept the Mayo Clinic offer. Lydia will research going to college. Anna will tell her babies so much about her amazing mum.

They will sell the house. Another couple will move in, and will have no idea about the lifes that were led there, the way they changed and ended and the joy and sorrows those walls saw.

What if Alice had succeeded? The story would have ended with more finality. There would have been a clearer climax. Maybe that is what the story needed. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe seeing all those white pills scattered on the floor was enough.

Alice wasn’t suffering. And the quiet, guilty relief her family would have felt, paired with so much pain and sadness and anguish, would have been more for them than for her.

Anyways. Their life would’ve gone on, either way. Alice’s wouldn’t, maybe, and kind of also either way. Maybe it would’ve been better, maybe not. Maybe simply different.

That’s life. All those what if’s stacked on, and still, going on.


End file.
